i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
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