I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
i out mim tonsoeep
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