the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
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its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
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I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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