I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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