how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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