She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
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he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
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No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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