Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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