i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize