I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
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