she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
It was confusing and full of hummus
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
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