Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize