I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize