This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize