He kissed a someone with a penis
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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