We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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