Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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