I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
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I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
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Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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