I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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