Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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