My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize