somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
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just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
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You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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