i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize