y did u give ur computer a hand job?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
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If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize