splinters make it hard to masturbate
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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