I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize