I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
We smell like vodka and hangover
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