what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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