two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize