You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
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i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
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Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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