Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
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So squirting runs in the family.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
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turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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