Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
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my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
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I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
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