I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize