are you still at the devil's house?
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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