Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
babies were throwing up all over the place
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
It's blow job season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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