Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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