I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize