I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize