Ambien. No doubt about it.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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