I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize