my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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