i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize