Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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