i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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