My cat gives me a boner
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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