I just cut my nipple shaving
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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