I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize