i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
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Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
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i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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