Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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