were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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