Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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